Rejection, Reading Eyes and Remaining Calm

Luckily as I age and grow calmer, so do my nerves. Don't get me wrong, there are still certain things that still get me riled up--my school work being one of them. I am a perfectionist when it comes to my studies; projects are begun on the day they are assigned, finished with weeks to spare and edited over and over again. I'm a freak about it, but that is okay. It's who I am. Money, too. I have always been a saver and probably always will be. Unless an extremely large sum of cash comes my way, which is highly unlikely, I will always be, well, stingy.

In most other aspects of life, I have become pretty laid-back. I have learned through life's experiences that planning ahead is sometimes a complete waste, that worrying about the future is oftentimes unwarranted and being too stubborn about the small stuff just plain ridiculous.

As a kid I was completely different. I grew up in a nervous household, and was therefore quite nervous myself. My three immediate family members (parents and sister) are the type who can't relax. They tend to freak out and think the worst. I have always been a black sheep in many ways, and it seems even more so lately.

Being relaxed about life's happenings isn't such a bad thing. When I received the thanks for your application but...letter in the mail yesterday in regards to my Presidential Management Fellowship application I didn't really care. Honestly, I think I would have been more surprised had I been chosen as one of the coveted few. So I didn't make the cut. At least I tried. Next...

My entire family is completely distressed in regards to the recent diagnosis of my father. Completely understandable. Being told that you have a fatal, incurable disease is not something any of us want to hear. But he saw one doctor and only had one--of at least a half dozen--tests to prove that he truly has Lou Gehrig's. The little bit of research that I have done in the last few days has consistently expressed that the disease is incredibly hard to diagnose due to its tendency to mimic several other diseases (that are manageable, if not curable). A second opinion is highly recommended in a case as such. I am remaining calm and positive....and attempting to rub off on my family. If a plethora of tests and doctors visits still render his condition as such, then the freak-fest will begin. But taking the word of one medical professional is risky...trust me, I know.

I am a huge skeptic of "modern" medicine. Okay, fine, I am a skeptic of many things. But with the number of doctors I have been to over the last dozen years, only two ever made me feel better. The two "witch doctors" as I call them. One guy fed me strange herbs and weird drinks while supplementing them with massages using an electric sander. The other guy simply touched me and made weird motions with his hands.

In both instances, I felt better than I had with any conventional prescription drug.

So was it all in my head? It's possible. The mind is a very powerful organ and, in my opinion, has a substantial impact on our health and well-being. But I don't think this was the case. I believe in the power of 'alternative' healing. I am one of those who believes there is a cure for every disease...somewhere out there...maybe in the deep reaches of the jungle or the bottom of the ocean...but everything can be cured with natural substances.

So yesterday my father and I went to an eye reading guy. Yeah--he takes a picture of both eyes and reads them. Very weird, but so interesting. According to him, everything that happens to the body--less surgery that is performed while under anesthesia--is recorded in the eyes.

Like I said, if there ever was a skeptic, here I am. But this man was very sincere and extremely knowledgeable. He treats several people I know and travels throughout the state helping others.

So, we have started my father on an abundance of several minerals. It can't hurt. And if it is all just a mind game, then so be it. If his mind can trick his body into thinking he is devoid of any neurological diseases, bring it on. Life throws strange things our way constantly. Who knows, perhaps a little positive reinforcement and the idea that a combination of minerals and various supplements will reverse whatever may be plaguing my father's body.

Only time will tell. But in the meantime, I will remain calm and collected. I am not one who necessarily believes that we control our own destinies. There are a plethora of outside forces affecting us negatively at any given moment. All we can do is hope for the best, keep our heads up, take it as it comes and move on if necessary.

As Abraham Lincoln expressed, it is not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years.