Just Call Me...Queen Whitney

"You really should check into your ancestry. You might find out that you're a millionaire!"





Besides asking me out for a steak dinner, this was the concluding remark from one of my 'testers' today. Leave it to me, I swear. I can always find the one weirdo in the bunch. Or he can find me, perhaps.





Prior to encouraging me to trace my roots for monetary purposes, Mr. X talked on and on about...everything. He was the only individual in my afternoon testing session, so it didn't necessarily matter...except that he wouldn't shut up. Besides rambling on about illegal immigrants, the President and Tiger Woods (and his mistresses), Mr. X found great joy in discussing...me.





First I was encouraged to be a waitress in Vegas. You know, just "get all dolled up and act like you wanna go home with the guys...all while taking their money."





Hmmm...okay. I lived in Vegas for 13 years; the thought of working in a casino as a keno girl or waitress certainly crossed my mind on many occasions. Vegas is nothing but a fantasy land...it really wouldn't bother me one bit to dress up in character for a few hours every day. But, let's face it; it will likely never happen.





Next.





My initial--and continued--response to his next suggestion was...probably a deer-in-headlights-look. I didn't really know what to say. What comes out of peoples' mouths just really baffles me; seemingly more and more all the time. While reading my required informational booklet aloud, I was interrupted to engage in the following conversation:





"Are you English?" he asked.





"Am I English?"





"Yeah, are you from England?"





"No. But my family originally came from parts of England...."








"Mmm...you look like you are from England."





{deer in headlights look}





"You have that look....like you are royalty. Do you know who Queen Elizabeth is?"





"Yes."





"Yeah, you look like a descendant of the royal family. Remember...what was her name...Queen Diana...?"





"Princess Diana.."





"Yeah, she was next in line to take over from Queen Elizabeth...what a horrible accident that was."





{deer in headlights look continues}





"Well, I can't say that I have ever gotten a comment like this before..."





"Yeah, you have that look...you look like you should be wearing a crown."








Ummm......okay. As stated to Mr. X, this is a new one, even for me.





But I am not so sure that I see the resemblance.....

Hmmm....maybe (??).

Well, I figure that I might as well take advantage of my new found ancestry. Just go ahead and call me Queen Whitney from here on out. Don't mind that I haven't the crown yet--I'm sure I can find a cheap one to fit my needs. Oh, and all of those millions of dollars that I am likely to inherit...I'll get back to you on that one.