I leave this entry untitled because my thoughts are so scrambled anymore. So much is happening that I oftentimes expect to wake up from the nightmare at any given moment.


*A visit from the Sheriff's Office today confirmed my father's hunch; the shot into our garage door was intentional. Now they are shooting at us. Warning us. So what comes next?


*Being who I am, I attended the public hearing held this morning regarding the sale of effluent water to Tenasty by the City of Abilene. The meeting wore on and on, and I eventually had to leave without speaking. They saw me there though, and that was what I wanted more than anything else. You can shoot at me, but you're gonna have to kill me. I have to laugh at the fact that, none of 'them' will look at me. They see me...they know who I am, trust me....and they quickly look away. Cowards.


*On Sunday and Monday I experienced what I will deem the craziest 36 hours of my life thus far. I drove my father to Dallas on Sunday to attend a doctor's appointment on Monday. A 3.5 hour trip turned into something more along the lines of 7 hours with Thanksgiving traffic and my loss of the freeway I needed factored in. I was witness to the illness that is attempting to take over his body and his mind. It was like nothing I have ever seen before; nothing I hope to ever see again. I was once described as "unflappable" by a professor and peers. This may have "flapped" me.


Our appointment Monday was daunting. The specialists all but said that he has Lou Gehrig's disease. From that moment on, it was a steady stream of social workers, family councilors, equipment providers....you name it...who came in to help us and offer their condolences. Exhausting.

Luckily, I was allowed one laugh that day. I went to lunch at the clinic cafeteria at the Burger House. Upon receiving my receipt, however, it was listed as the Buger House.


Then there was the testing and the blood work. The poking, the prodding. We arrived at 8:30 am and didn't walk out until nearly 5:30. I still had to drive home. It was midnight before I arrived.


I walked into the Council Chambers this morning with mixed feelings. Would I speak? Cry? Scream? Smack someone? As I sat with other opponents and cried, I realized that this is exactly what big businesses want. They want to break us "little people" down to a point where we are too exhausted and worn to care or participate anymore. They want to scare us with their threats and malicious lies.


It saddens me to see that the only "positive" aspects of this project are economically based. I always knew the world was a greedy place, but never so bad as what I am experiencing in regards to this fight. Peoples' lives are being endangered, their livelihoods being destroyed before their eyes. All for the economic gain of a few. It truly is sickening.


I may be worn down at the moment, and trust me, I am. But just give me some time and I will be back to my old self. I won't give up on fighting this coal plant, but only hope that our opposition will continue to grow and thrive. However bleak the horizon may look, Tenasty still has many hurdles to jump. A lot can happen in a few months' time....


And we are fighting the disease as best we can, too. We are taking the natural route, evening going to see a holistic dentist next month to remove my dad's mercury-laden fillings. As horrific as this disease is, it has been halted by others. I believe that there is a cure for everything, although the greed of the medical world wont allow for it to happen.


Let's keep hoping. Hoping for health and hoping that Tenasty will leave our lives forever. Anything is possible.